Monday, March 28, 2011

I need a break.

I think i'm going to take the whole week off of school this week. It was just going to be today, but i'm so stressed out. It's finals week, and that means i'll miss both classes tests. I went over my allowed "absent" hours, so that withdrew me from one class. I don't get a failing grade, I just don't get any grade at all and I have to re-take it. In the other class I have an A as a grade, and by missing the final it will bring me down to a B, possibly C, but I wont have to retake it.

The whole situation with my ex (Alex's dad) is just really stressing me out. He's moving out this Thursday when his mom comes to get him. I wish he could just leave now, but he has no where to go and i'm too much of a softy to make him stay on the streets. But he's really pushing it. He told me last night that he's already made plans to take Alex to TN to visit his family a few months after he's born. I told him he was out of his damn mind if he thinks i'm going to let him take my baby to another state!
Plus he assumes that i'm going to let him take Alex every weekend to his mom's house where they're compulsive chain smokers and pot smokers (IN THE HOUSE!!!). His family does nothing but argue and yell at each other. There's no way in hell i'm letting my baby boy go over there! I told him that if he wants to visit Alex then he's more than welcome to do so IN MY HOUSE. He said that his mom is already buying a crib and getting a room ready just for Alex. She shouldn't waste her money since there is no way in hell he's going over there. His whole family is psycho, and now i'm starting to see that he is too.
When he was packing his things, he said he's taking all of Alex's clothes with him because that's where Alex will be most of the time (with him). He didn't even buy 90% of the clothes Alex has! I & my parents bought it all! Why would I let him take all the stuff that he doesn't even own?!
Not even counting the fact that I plan on breastfeeding this child. You just can't pack up a newborn and decide to take a road trip every few days (his mom, and now him, live in a city about an hour/hour and a half away). There's no way I could pump enough milk to last that long anyway. And I refuse to suppliment with formula (nothing wrong with formula, Kota was a Similac baby and he's a happy healthy smartypants kid!).

This whole situation is just getting to me. I still have to schedule my c-section and i'm undecided on if I want Alex's dad to be there or not. I know I don't want his family anywhere near me. I guess i'll just let him come in for the surgery, sign the birth certificate, and then he's got to go.

So thats why i'm taking a week off school. I just need to do a lot of thinking about how this is all going to happen and what I want done. I have 2 months till the birth of my little boy. I didn't think it'd be this stressful!

On a happier note:
Over the weekend I took Kota to the 'Touch A Truck' event at a local park. He loves firetrucks, so the oppertunity to actually be on one almost made him explode!

There were all kinds of other big trucks there too, and police vehicles, and an ambulance. But the highlight of his day was definitly the firetruck! Seeing how happy he was made me happy. :-)